7's...7's....CHERRY??
In an astounding turn of events, I have found a new way to goof off at work. Online slot machines. No, you don't win money. You just press the buttons and that's it. Yet, I still get super excited when I "win". Nasty fist-pumps are wildly thrown. Even an occasional "Yak-em!!" can be heard from my office. So, if the credits are equal to a quarter, I will have won $593.50 so far. Pathetic as this may sound, its even more so in reality. I think this obsession with slot machines may stem back to the time me, Grayson and Jimmy went to Missississisppixqii for some sinning. After blowing about $400 on slot machines, I wasn't a happy camper. I think the saddest image is that of me in the the casino eating my complimentary buffet by myself. $400 down the tube, and I get a cheap knock-off of Country Kitchen. Even the fried chicken couldn't turn that frown upside-down (it tasted of bitter defeat and body stank). If I recall, Jimmy just kind of shook his head when he walked up and just saw an utterly defeated man eating strawberry jello with a grape in it.
Yes, I realize that there is absolutely zero skill involved with slot machines. But hell, if grandma sitting next to me is willing to spend her children's inheritence pulling on the lucky arm, then why not me? Especially since I still feel I was this close to winning one of those novelty plastic checks that fateful night. It wouldn't have been the first time I've cried in a casino (damn you scary clowns from Circus, Circus!, I don't want a balloonimal!), but I was pretty close that day I missed the jackpot b/c I played one less line. I think that one of the goals for my life is to be on a wall in some Indian casino with a big cheese on my face and double thumbs-ups while being handed a biiiiig check. Either that, or get my face on the wall J and R's steakhouse for beating the 72-oz steak challenge.
Already stretching for ideas... this I REFUSE to respond to. Wait.. damnit. You've tricked me again Victor.
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:03 AM
indeed Victor you were a sad Panda that day. However, Jimmy and I were equally sad for not leaving the casino so that you would stop bleeding money. Nope we would not even leave the poker table to eat with you. Instead we were content to sit at the poker table for 10 straight hours losing $15/hr, looking at such great hands as 10 8 off suit, 3 7 off suit, and the ever so tempting Queen 9 suited sigh... We just had to sit there so that we would not miss the big one.
At least we had Pearl Jam, and U2 to ease the pain of losing what little was left of our student loan checks.
Posted by
Anonymous |
6:18 PM