Not to get political....but....

As the new year approaches, we are all reminded that another election season is rolling around. I have been involved with a few campaigns, most notably my failed election for Mayor of Buffet City. Apparently the citizens of the fine gourmet Chinese buffet did not like my platform of "Not All You Can Eat, Kids Are Starving In Africa." Rational thinking, reasonable future was NOT being served. Well, despite such defeats, I feel there is an even more important election coming up.

Now, Mr. or Mrs. American citizen, you may be asking "Why vote? Everything seems fine." Well, I assure you, things are absolutely not. Insidious forces (Big Corporation) has gotten the better of McDonaldland. After our current special-interest driven Mayor "burgled" the last election, quiet policy decisions have torn this city apart. Allowing the illegal immigration of breakfast burritos. "French" fries. Not allowing caramel and vanilla ice cream to be in the same cup. REAL chicken in chicken McNuggets? Things have gotten so bad that even the iron rule of the Burger King seems palpable. This is just the beginning, friends. So, for the sake of our children, please vote. Admittedly, when McCheese was in power, we had problems (ArchDeluxe-gate and Prop 36 to deport the Fry Guys) He's gotten over the crack problem ("Bitch set me up!"). Remember, the alternative?



Four more years??

You are freaking hilarious!

Don't forget the time you got taken behind the woodshed by Mary Stewart in the SBA election. Now that was freaking hilarious!

That is correct Tim. In fact, Stewballz bears a striking resemblance to the candidate I am backing this year... Grimace. Yes, he did chilli dog Tim's mom.. but who hasn't? For his part, Grimace typically flies under the radar, the man in the big chair in a dimly lit back room smoking a cigar and gently pulling the strings of all his puppets. But with the sad state of affairs that Mr. Kang has described he has decided to step to the plate and assume total command. Sure, he doesn't wear pants, but what the hell are you gonna do about it?

For those with virgin eyes, stop reading. As Mr. Harrison, and if I recall correctly, Mr. Garrison, too, said, a chili dog is a sexual act. I just want to point out for my readers that a "chili dog" refers to the sexual act of defecating on a woman' chest, and then proceeding to have sexual relations with her breasts ("titty fucking"). Thus, the image of the two breasts make the buns, said pervert's genitalia makes the hot dog, and said fecal material will bear a resemblance to chili. As for the story about Grimace, Ms. Pittman and their version of the chili dog, I won't go further as the thought makes me grow an innie. Think about it.

And you wonder why you have people soliciting you for child porn.

Post a Comment
SHENANIGOATS

  • Where randomness makes out with inanity...

    Me

  • I am me. My mind creates many thoughts that shouldn't be viewed in public...

    Random quote of the day (or week, if I'm lazy)

  • “Abraham Lincoln once said, "If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North" and those are some of the principles that I live with today." - Michael Scott

    escapes


  • FARK
  • PAC-MAN
  • Boing-Boing
  • How crazy are you?
  • Frogger
  • Yahoo Pool Online
  • Pandora-Awesome music site
  • The Onion
  • Misheard Lyrics
  • More Free Games
  • Family Feud Online
  • Wikipedia
  • Internet Movie Database
  • Roll Tide!

    yesterdays

    November 2005
    December 2005
    January 2006
    February 2006
    March 2006
    April 2006
    May 2006
    June 2006
    July 2006
    August 2006
    September 2006
    October 2006
    November 2006
    December 2006
    January 2007
    February 2007
    March 2007