Bed vs. couch
In an epic battle of titanic proportions, we will examine today the pros and cons of my couch and my bed. In this corner, weighing 200 pounds, from the Honors House at UAB, the brown mound of comfort, BROWN LEATHER COUCH! And the challenger, accompanied to the ring by his trainer, Dignity, hailing from the Mattress King in Tuscaloosa, SINGLE-SIZE BED! Shake hands, let's have a clean fight, no biting or hitting below the tag, and let's get it on!
Comfort -
Well, most of y'all have had the pleasure of parking your sweet asses on Couch. She's a good sit, and isn't so pretentious that you're scared of spilling stuff on it. As for Bed, there's no question that it beats sleeping in a Couch. But, that may also have ill benefits as I have been to late to work b/c Bed is so comfortable and I can hit the snooze and roll back into the folds of sleepy comfort. Couch, well, she isn't really forgiving, and you really can't wait to get out of it and go to work.
Winner: Draw - Comfort is great, but I also enjoy going to work on time so I gets paid.
Eating -
Since I do not have room for a dining table, Couch has done a magnificent job as a stand-in. Using the coffee table and Couch to eat is not bad. It does not seem pathetic or dirty. Whereas, you eat some Popeyes in Bed, and people paint you as a shut-in fatty. Nuff said.
Winner: Couch - I don't need more reasons to affirm my bachelorhood.
Sentimentality -
Couch has been a part of my life since sophomore year at UAB. She's seen the good and the bad, been there for me through tough times and good times. Whereas Bed, well, let's just say a nun's bed has probably seen more action.
Winner: Couch by a country mile.
Wrapup -
Well, from the tale of the tape, it seems that Couch wins. Couch is definitely the better pick at this juncture of my life. But, of course, the intangible factor is that one is a COUCH and the other is a BED. The potential for greatness definitely lies in Bed's favor as, well, duh....you can figure that one out. Join me next time for the next examinition of the minutiae in my exciting life.
First off, the bed did not come from any reputable store. I know this because I had to haul the mattress back from the Alabama Thrift Store on top of Ashley's Pathfinder. Apparently 1987 family sedans do not come with a luggage rack as standard equipment, only a woefully inadequate asian owner. Secondly, you lived with Yimmy in law school, so you're entire furniture selection has seen less action than the pre-k sunday school class at first baptist church. Lastly, you would eat Popeye's off of a homeless person's ass crack, so that is not an appropriate category by which to judge the relative merits of your furnishings.
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:30 PM
Thanks JB, selective memory and/or my lack of brain cells through drinking has made me block out the source of my bed. Now, you've managed to disgust both me and anybody who's rested on said bed. She's still a mighty fine bed, and if I recall correctly, it was a NEW bed, but just at thrift store prices, so nyah to your poo-pooing. Luckily, nobody who reads this wants to be in my bed (with OR without me), so it all kind of works out =)
Posted by
Victor |
7:11 PM
JB that shit really did disgust me. Lori and I slept on that bed. The thrift store? Vic dont buy a bed from a thrift store! Somebody like cliff might have owned it before you!
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:03 PM