Well, to take a quick break in between the exciting action of the Big Dance, let me tell you kids about the great adventure I had a couple of days ago. Whilst chatting on-line with Mrs. McKie, I had the misfortune of being harrassed by a wasp. In a panic, I asked Mel from some advice in how to deal with a wasp in my room. Her witty retort? "Well, is she attractive?" Har har har. For those that don't get the joke, look up WASP. Anyways, I've had many duels and run-ins with the animal kinngom. I've swallowed a swarm of gadflys, been licked by a giraffe, sat on a horse as it pooped, spat on by a chimp, and argued with a dog on at least two occasions of who gets the last piece of Popeyes. Yet, this wasp was HUGE. I've never been stung by a bee before, so I don't know if I'm allergic or not. So, Mel's advice was to open all the doors and windows. No dice. So, I figured that either Lysol or some form of aerosol spray would do the job. Armed with Sam's Choice Disinfectant/Air Freshner all-in-one, I sprayed that sucker. Well, I tell you there was a bunch of high-pitched squealing and running around. After opening my eyes, all I know is that the room smelled of fresh spring daisys and wasp-free. I had succeeded......or so I thought. Just today, as I was fixing myself a Foreman-Grill cheese sammich, I heard a buzzing. That bastard survived. He/she was nesting comfortably next to Einstein's poster. Sadly, he then absconded to the roof. Due to my lack of "mad hops", I feared that a ill-timed jump would lead to a pissed-off wasp. After a few test jump-swats in the bedroom, I decided not to tempt fate. So, I MacGuyvered about 6 law school books into a make-shift step-stool. In the sneakiest way possible (as my people are good at) and aided with my friends Con Law, Mergers and Acquisition, Torts, Banking Law, Trust Law, and Securities, we woooped that wasp's ass. The moral of my adventure? "If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk, you can get work." Then, you too can stop wearing shorts on the weekday. Heh.

SWEET MERCIFUL HEAVEN!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Posted by Victor on Sunday, March 19, 2006 at 9:33 PM | Permalink