Just to rub it in to certain people in that state over yonder, I will do a quick recap of the exciting events of Opening Day for the Braves!

1) I missed about 4 innings of the game as traffic is horrendous. Then, I took a wrong turn and ended up on the highway to Athens. I'm not very smart.

2) Parking at the stadium sucked, but we got lucky and parked in a free lot. We also got to deal with some very bitchy girls who claimed they couldn't back out due to where I was parked. Yep, they were in some huge SUV that they shouldn't be driving. Luckily, my car was neither harmed nor hindered, and all was good.

3) Stadium beer line. Almost 30 minutes. Almost worth $6.50. Next time, I'll remember to bring my Kang's Klassic Kocktail - Half Coke, half Early Times in a nice 1 Liter Coke bottle. Security guards are none the wiser. "Lift up your cap, sir." Sure thing, officer, b/c that's where I normally store my explosives, knives and other pointy objects. Next to my head. All I know is that the Kocktail (right, like I'm going to use the acronym) gets pretty nasty around the 7th inning when the Coke is warm, right Grayson?

4) Whilst in the beer line, we bumped into our bartender from the local watering hole. His name is Wes, and he made me my first (and last) Manhatten. Ugh. Not sure what knowing your bartender means, but perhaps the word I'm looking for rhymes with "gualcholic".

5) Andi and her beer line had a much better story. Seems that the girl in front of her, who was about 16-17, decided to stand the whole time in hopes of getting a beer. I wasn't made aware of whether said high-schooler was hot or not, but I have to assume she was, because when she was up, she didn't even have a fake ID. I don't know what was going on in her head other than possibly "Well, I'm a hot cheerleader and half my boobs are hanging out, so I bet this 80-year old beer man will pop a geezer-chubby and let me buy beer with no ID." Alas, the old man stuck true to the Beer Man's Code of Honor and denied her. Her next course of action? What ALL girls do when they don't get what the want, she started to cry. Wow. Now, I've cried in the past when I noticed the bottle was empty, but that's a different story. And yes, I said ALL girls. Nyah!

6) Apparantly, it was Big Hooter's Night at Turner. I'll leave it at that so as to not piss off those one or two ladies who still tolerate me despite my previous statement.

7) Jeff Francoeur is a piece of shit. Not only is his nickname "Frenchy", but he plays like a Frenchman: stinking and losing all the time. He's never seen a pitch he doesn't like, and to make matters worse, people still cheer for him. The whole time at the game, some sorority chicks behind me were talking about how hot he is. All I can say is that his goofy smile seems to say "Hyuck...you sher's purty." I don't get it. Seems people like him b/c he's from the area and is attractive. I guess his .061 batting average is irrelevant.

8) Boy, I really do love some baseball. Got more free tickets to Thursday's game (Thanks Rach!). Gonna try to make it to one of the Padres games so that McKie can get a schedule magnet. I'm still debating about going to the games solo, but I'm thinking I can drag or bribe somebody to go (yeah, I don't have many friends...). But, anytime y'all want to go to a game, just call me up and I'm there. Go Braves!

PS - Yeah, I realize I've done a couple of posts where it's just me describing my boring daily life. Sorry, but the ol' creativity bone ain't too good recently. I promise we'll get back to more inane and random observations instead of these "This is what I did today and you should care because I'm a pretentious asshole" posts.

Posted by Victor on Wednesday, April 12, 2006 at 11:11 AM | Permalink