Things I think I think
Sometimes, you just don't have enough material to make a decent post. Some from the peanut gallery will assert that I've NEVER had enough to make a halfway decent post. Irregardless, here are just short musings and anecdotes that shall pass as one entry.
1) Gin and tonic, good. Vodka and tonic, good. Scotch and tonic....eh, not so good. I thought I could extend my scotch by mixing it with some tonic. Well, let's just say that I've never experienced a golden shower, but I'd have to assume that this filthy mix was close enough.
2) Man, I am so glad baseball season is back. Sure, it's gonna last till October, but hey, you really can't beat sitting in traffic for an hour while listening to Skip and Pete as the sun shines brightly on your pasty skin. It ain't heaven, but it's darn near close. Sadly, even if as I type this, Smoltzy is pitching like a drunken koala bear with one arm. Grrr.
3) No matter how hard you clench your fist and FEEL the lyrics, girls do not find it attractive to sing your heart out to the Scorpions. Even lyrics as "powerful" and "creative" as these get no love:
I'm still loving you.
I'm still loving you,
I need your love.
I'm still loving you.
Still loving you, baby...
Sure, it's not touching like Journey, but come on, did you SEE how I used the steering wheel as a mike?
4) An anonymous friend in Atlanta managed to out-pervert me. As we sat on the porch enjoying the weather and a fine beverage, she inferred that the first thing she thought about when she moved in to her aparment was about how she could manage to do it on the porch. Yes, I admit that while I may have pondered how to do the horizontal mambo in various rooms of a new apartment, I've never pondered the feasibility of makin' bacon on the porch. But, the point is that the premise of putting the spoon in the batter on the porch raises an interesting legal question. The porch is considered your property, so would it be public indecency to be driving the car into the garage on said porch? All you lawyer-types ponder this. Assuming the porch is an extension of your private property, why not? You can walk around naked in your house with the blinds open, so why not the porch? Discuss amongst yourselves. Or try it.
5) While waiting in line at the gas station, the lady ahead of my wanted to purchase a pack of smokes. Even though the attendant didn't ask for her ID, the lady offered, nonetheless. Now, the lady was about...oh...say 55 years old. She was the epitome of the "I'm still not a day over 18" types. Spaghetti straps and short shorts that showed every varicose vein and tanning-booth inch of her body. I felt bad for her as the attendant essentially said "No, I don't have to check your ID. I can tell how old you are." It reminds me of the day I turned 21 and i went to legally acquire some beer. Damn guy didn't WANT my ID. I tried to show him, but seems he was more interested in watching the Full House rerun on his black-and-white. I couldn't really fault him though. Who amongst us can resist the swarthy charm of Uncle Jesse? Not I.
And finally, the picture that has no point other than to make me giggle like a little school girl.
Just look at the conviction in his face! Hulkster MEANS it!
I imagine that post may have even gotten funny in the end - Hulk Hogan closing things off would usually bring a smile to my face. Unfortunately, I lost you after the gross misuse of that horribly incorrect, albeit incorporated into Webster's, word, irregardless. Damn it Vic - why hast thou forsaken both me and the English language so! Hulk wouldn't have wanted it this way!
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:30 AM
Just move to Oregon and get paid for your live sex acts.
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:13 AM
ir·re·gard·less
Pronunciation: "ir-i-'gärd-l&s
Function: adverb
Etymology: probably blend of irrespective and regardless
nonstandard : REGARDLESS
usage Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that "there is no such word." There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:13 AM
I have two, thats right two, points to make.
First, what makes you think that you can walk around in your house naked with the blinds open. That is simply not true. I believe the law relates to whether you can be seen from a public place, not if the offender is in a public place. If you position was correct I could sit in front of my living room window and waive my dong at the kiddies as they walk home from school. Further, I pretty sure that it is the law that you personally are not allowed to be naked ever, even in your own home with the blinds pulled shut. Dont make me call the cops.
Second, and most important, when you are on the porch with a girl (hint: they are the ones that tell stories about feelings and have vaginas) and the conversation turns to sex on the porch, she may be trying to tell you something. Perverted girl telling stories about sexual thoughts plus horny guy on the porch, you do the math. SCORE DAMN YOU!
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:33 PM
Doh!
Posted by
Victor |
6:12 PM