One of the most difficult things in life is growing old. You have to see friends and family age as well as waking up with pains in areas you'd never realize you had. The worst part, in my mind, is seeing heroes of your youth stripped of their aura of greatness. While my previous post lauded the accolades of a star tabbed as being past his prime, the following will be a few pictures of icons of the my youth that have sadly hit upon hard times. Feel free to cry along as I will take a sad stroll down memory lane.


Yes, sadly enough, the shout-out from Chappelle did nothing to help the one-and-only Gallagher. Who amongst us doesn't miss the glory days of the Sledge-o-Matic and his hilarious 80's humor? This man has fallen on hard times as his brother has stolen his act under the moniker of "Gallager Too". Be not fooled if you have a ticket, tis it not be the real Gallagher. But, the future looks a little brighter as he did fare pretty well in the recent California gubanatorial elections, losing to another great icon.


For those wrestling fans out there, the man to the right needs no introduction. The Total Package. The man who slammed Yokozuna. Yes, it is the great Lex Luger. Sadly, as you may have surmised, these are mugshots of Mr. Luger. The crime? Being charged with possession of non-prescription medication and also possibly linked to the death of Elizabeth Hulett. Yep, you read that correct...Miss Elizabeth. Sadly, she is with the greats such as Mr. Perfect, Big Bossman, the Junkyard Dog and Rick Rude. There's a helluva wrasslin' match up in Heaven. But, as for the Total Package, it's been a long, hard fall since the glory days of Torture Racking the likes of Buff Bagwell and Jimmy Hart.


Well, not much really needs to be said. Smurfette's stay in the Smurf Village has mentally destroyed any sense of normalcy she had. Being the only LEGAL (Sassette was a kid! Perv) female Smurf, she knew that every Smurf would kill to Smurf her. With this sense of entitlement, she went down a long, hard road of multiple Smurf-bangs, cocaine and general whore-ity. Time has not been kind. She waits patiently for that big reunion paycheck, but offering Smurf-jobs for food makes life pretty Smurfing hard.



While some of you have had the sad misfortune of seeing this picture, I felt that we still need to remember him. He was the principal to ALL of us, and look what he is relagated to. Sitting in a a dive getting offered shots by some drunk sorority girls. And to make matters worse, it looks to be a fruity, non-manly shot. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Kids, when you think about dropping out of school and going for that pie in the sky, remember, it's not that easy. Just stare into Belding's sad eyes as he sits in his Saved by the Bell crew jacket. Sniff....his expression is just that of a defeated man....excuse me...I've got something in my eyes...I just want to hold him and say "It's alll right...cuz you're saved by the bell"


Alright, sorry for that momentary loss of composure. But, we won't end on a downer. Many people have said that this man is a genius and a gift to humanity. I cannot agree more. From his portrayal of confused man #1 in Three Men and a Baby to his stupendous work as Mahoney, we can all agree that we were lucky to have lived during the time of Steve Guttenburg. Who can forget the time that he tricked Harris into going to the Blue Oyster? Some may ask, "What happened to him?" Well, due to his high standards, he his hid from the limelight and lay in wait for the next great role that can befit him. Yes, Police Academy 8 is back! Mahoney. Sweetchuck. Jones. Lassard. Hightower. It's like a dream come true. The movie is slated for 2007, and all I can say is that the time of Guttenburg is back.

He's still got it

Posted by Victor on Wednesday, May 10, 2006 at 8:11 PM | Permalink