GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!
Normally, I'm not a fan of the nancy-boy "sport" called soccer. Or as those stinking fer-eners call it - football. I prefer to keep my kicking intake to the the faux-Europeans like Vinatieri or Vanderjagt that run in for the PAT or the FG. Off the subject, it is weird how there's rarely a Smith or Jones as kickers. They are always something crazy like Del Greco, Janikowski, Gramatica or Groza. We need a kicker who's name is John Johnson. Or maybe Kathy Ireland. People may claim that Scott "Quantum Leap" Bakula was the star of that movie, but I'd tell them to their face that they are stupid. Damn it, what a great movie that was. That stupid Dean Elias really angers my blood. And there was Robby Loggia as the coach....Kathy Ireland....the fat Asian lineman....Kathy Ireland. Geez, this cast was amazing!!! They had Rob Schneider AND Senator Fred Thompson (R-TN). Not to m
ention Tim's hero, SINBAD! Wowsers, and Jerry "Dancin' with the Stars" Rice, Herschel Walker, Dick Butkus and the immortal...Ed "Too Tall" Jones....from Police Academy of course. Wow, good gravy, I think I need to take a cold shower and go buy this movie immediately from my local K-Mart. And speaking of showers, there IS a Kathy Ireland shower scene. Sadly, the aforementioned stereotypically fat Asian blocks our view. Damn you, Samoa!!! Anywho, what was my point again? Oh yeah, soccer stinks. If I wanted to enjoy futbol, I might as well start drinking warm beer, dancing to Kraftwerk at Klub Wernerksecht, punching Irish folks and hating America. But, to be fair, it is a "beautiful game". The 2002 World Cup was pretty awesome when we stayed up really late at bars to watch England v. Brazil. Then, when me, Tim and Eric went to the US qualifying game versus Guatemala, I kind of liked soccer even more. As a non-sequitur, I did NOT enjoy almost dying in a tornado because some asshole refused to stop eating his Popeye's as he was driving home from Birmingham through blinding rain and thunder. It's always a bad sign when we have to pull over and call somebody for a weather check and hear "well, I see lots of red on the radar and the weather dude is saying something about repenting sins". Granted, it WAS Popeye's, but still, dude....living is pretty awesome, too.
ANYWAYS, my point is that, despite the Eurotrash implications, I begrudgingly am starting to enjoy soccer. It's a pretty awesome game. If nothing else, it'd be great to show the rest of the world that we can beat them at "their" game, and we don't even care about the sport! Granted, we got a whoopin' at the hands of the hated Czechs yesterday. The only person I know who is Czechish scares me with her Czechmanian karate, so I won't say anything bad about them. Other than, you stink so bad, even Slovakia doesn't want to hang out with you! O, snap! Our next game is against those Italians. I'd also make fun of Italians, but I'd prefer not to be bludgeoned to death with a pasta fork. Despite the shit-talking, I swear I don't really hate Europeans...just France.
Go USA!!!
That US Soccer emblem is sweet. But not as sweet as some cajun spiced chicken. The way I see it, there's two things you can do on I-20/59 in a torrential downpour. 1. freak out and piss your pants, or 2. eat some beans and rice and a biscuit. You chose the former, I chose the latter.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:46 PM
I have to begrudgingly agree with Victoria on this one. Soccer is pretty cool. Unfortunately for U.S. soccer fans we have a long way to go. First, we have just recently started to play soccer, and we have always sucked ass. Next, factor in the rest of the world's overwhelming hatred of the U.S. Finally, just when the media has made a push to get everyone to watch soccer, and everyone oblidges, we get smoked on international T.V.
Also, don't forget Finland, they suck too.
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:54 PM
None of these countries piss me off quice like the Danes do. How dare they make fun of the prophet. Infidels! Praise to Allah! Go Saudi Arabia and Iran!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:43 PM
I am also part Russian - don't answer your door after midnight if you want to live.
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:38 PM