So, I've been recently accused by some friends as being a surly old coot. Not that being grumpy is necessarily a bad thing, but I've decided that I probably have the mindset of a 68 year-old Florida retiree. All those damn kids and their hippity-hop type music, those singer-songwriters who have girlie hair and sing in girlie voices (damn you, James Blunt and Maroon 5!) and that M-Tee-Vee. With that said, this will be a nice, long rant about what's wrong with kids today. And having a little brother who's entering that generation, I get good and pissed when I hear what he thinks is "cool.

1) MTV - "You think about this: when you get old, these kids - when *I* get old - they're going to be running the country...Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, these kids are going to take care of me." - Principal Richard Vernon

Well, I don't want to get into this before I've gotten my coffee, but what the hell. Since this channel is stuck between my cable range for ESPN and the Cartoon Network, I often have to scan by it on my surfing trips. I'm sure most of y'all are aware of that God-awful show, "My Super Sweet Sixteen." Man, just saying the title makes me want to vomit. My like, totally, SUPER SWEET sixteen! I hope most see the evil of the ways, but for those who may watch it with a starry-eyed gleam, you suck. The crux of this show is essentially to glorify how awful teenagers can be when they are given an excess amount of money. A typical episode usually involves some semi-attractive stereotypical girl who wants to through a HUGE party at the parent's expense. The part of the show I unfortunately suffered through had a scene where this girl and her friend having a big to-do about who can and can't come to the party. To get on the list, they had to do a dance-off in front of her. Heh, while I admit that's kind-of cool in a totally Ice Queen-bitch move, it still is pretty lame. And to be shown on TV, no less. I don't know what the redeeming value of this show is, but then again, I love me some wrasslin', so I can't say diddly-poo about pointless shows. Tarnations, I lost my train o' thought. The point is that with these "reality" shows like My Super Sweet Sixteen and Bride-zilla (totally heinous brides freaking about their wedding), I don't know what the message seems to be. I'm hoping it's just for the pure "train-wreck" aspect, but methinks that it's slowly seeping into the minds of the youth's that that should be the norm. All I know is that last night, as I channel-surfed after the Braves ass-wooping, I saw Sweet Sixteen, some show about girls looking for action and Girls Gone Wild commercials. It seems that the message TV sends me is a) chicks are horny all the time, b) chicks dig money and c) all girls are conniving and evil. You feminists out there are probably pissing your man-pants, but, hey, get to stepping as y'all are blowing it!



2) Fashion - Yeah yeah, so I know jackshit about fashion. And I admit that I'm still behind the times in terms of accepting what's "cool". Even though I still find guys wearing pink un-American, I don't choke on my own anger as often about it. Light or salmon pink, fine. Blazing hot pink. Got-dang it! But, nothing really pisses me off even more so than the popped collar. I've tried this so-called fad a couple of times at Braves games, and I can tell you, I felt truly like an asshole. I don't get what the point of the popped collar is, but high-school girls were not flocking to my coolness. Not only that, but the popped collar affected both my chopping ability AND the Braves lost. Whatever happened to the good ol' days where a dude looked cool sporting some CK jean shorts and a Duck Head shirt?

3) Music - "Sensitive" singer-songwriters singing in falsetto. Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. American Idol. Snoop selling mints instead of rapping. Songs ripping off 80s hits. Sexy underage singers. I'll let the Cos finish up my rant.

Posted by Victor on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 at 2:46 PM | Permalink