Brain Dump
Ok, so explanation time for the delay in posts. A few days ago, we had one of those random summer thunderstorms. Except this one dominated my apartment. Alarms were going off by the minute with thunderstrikes sounding very close. But, due to my immense stupidty, I continued to happily type away at the ole computer. So, lo and behold, a nasty power surge kills my PC. Yeah, I had a surge protector and all the OTHER things connected to it survived, as it should. Thankfully, my Dell decided that it was special and gave a nice BZZZAP sound as it's last goodbye. And, to make matters worse, my neighbors wireless is down, so I was without internet at the homestand. Nonetheless, I'm back baby!
So, let's just drop a couple of random thoughts that have gone through my head.
1) Pluto
Well, sad news today for astronomy fans. Seems that our favorite loveable dog planet has been given the ol' heave-ho. Seems that the Harvard-types who decide how many planets there are felt that Pluto was too small and pathetic to be counted as a true "Classical Planet." I say nuts to that. First off, what are kids to do now? What happens to "My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas"??? I mean, if there's no pizzas involved, then I have to question the designation of being "very excellent." The new mnemonic is not very tasteful "My Very Erotic Mother Just Screwed Uncle Norm". That Norm. What an asshole. And what about Pluto? I don't think he's gonna take the news very well. Observe.
Shock -------------> Sadness------->Anger-------->Drunken Acceptance
2) Two-A-Days
This is that new show about the tough life of being a football player at Hoover High. As the description states "It follows the Hoover High football team as they try for their fourth consecutive state championship title; while balancing school, relationships, and friends at the same time." Man, sounds like a tough life. I'm sure many of y'all have seen the commercials (especially the chick in the green.....tasty). Future story lines include deciding which cheerleader to date, which free scholarship to take, and trying to pass basic math and science courses. Oh, there's no sour grapes here. Getting the red-carpet treatment and yada yada, well they deserve it. Man, nobody ever gave the math team that shit. Well, at least when I was on the team before getting cut (true story). I'm not one to dog on the amount of adulation and praise that athletes get, I love sports. Still, it's a big disenchanting to see that the vile known MTV has penetrated sweet home Alabama. The last thing we need is for the Laguna Beach attitude to destroy our simple country ways. I just wonder how being in a TV show on MTV would have affected me, assuming that anybody would even care to watch a show about some goofy Asian in Alabama. Actually, that sounds like a million-dollar idea.
Yep, they threw a premiere party....and yep,that's the chick in green from the commercial....methinks I should watch the show now?
3) Bologna...Baloney
I dunno which is the acceptable version. I know that it's Oscar Mayer's BOLOGNA on the packages. But the song is song "My BALONEY has a fist name...it's O-S-C-A-R..." So, quite a conundrum. I think Bologna is the stupid Eurotrash way of spelling it, thus I'm gonna go with good ol' 'Merican Baloney. My point is that the other day, I decided to get me a pack of baloney as I haven't had any in a while. I've always enjoyed a good baloney sammich as a kid. Alas, curiosity struck, and I took a gander at the "ingredients":
1) Pluto
Well, sad news today for astronomy fans. Seems that our favorite loveable dog planet has been given the ol' heave-ho. Seems that the Harvard-types who decide how many planets there are felt that Pluto was too small and pathetic to be counted as a true "Classical Planet." I say nuts to that. First off, what are kids to do now? What happens to "My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas"??? I mean, if there's no pizzas involved, then I have to question the designation of being "very excellent." The new mnemonic is not very tasteful "My Very Erotic Mother Just Screwed Uncle Norm". That Norm. What an asshole. And what about Pluto? I don't think he's gonna take the news very well. Observe.
Shock -------------> Sadness------->Anger-------->Drunken Acceptance
2) Two-A-Days
This is that new show about the tough life of being a football player at Hoover High. As the description states "It follows the Hoover High football team as they try for their fourth consecutive state championship title; while balancing school, relationships, and friends at the same time." Man, sounds like a tough life. I'm sure many of y'all have seen the commercials (especially the chick in the green.....tasty). Future story lines include deciding which cheerleader to date, which free scholarship to take, and trying to pass basic math and science courses. Oh, there's no sour grapes here. Getting the red-carpet treatment and yada yada, well they deserve it. Man, nobody ever gave the math team that shit. Well, at least when I was on the team before getting cut (true story). I'm not one to dog on the amount of adulation and praise that athletes get, I love sports. Still, it's a big disenchanting to see that the vile known MTV has penetrated sweet home Alabama. The last thing we need is for the Laguna Beach attitude to destroy our simple country ways. I just wonder how being in a TV show on MTV would have affected me, assuming that anybody would even care to watch a show about some goofy Asian in Alabama. Actually, that sounds like a million-dollar idea.
Yep, they threw a premiere party....and yep,that's the chick in green from the commercial....methinks I should watch the show now?I dunno which is the acceptable version. I know that it's Oscar Mayer's BOLOGNA on the packages. But the song is song "My BALONEY has a fist name...it's O-S-C-A-R..." So, quite a conundrum. I think Bologna is the stupid Eurotrash way of spelling it, thus I'm gonna go with good ol' 'Merican Baloney. My point is that the other day, I decided to get me a pack of baloney as I haven't had any in a while. I've always enjoyed a good baloney sammich as a kid. Alas, curiosity struck, and I took a gander at the "ingredients":
Mechanically Separated Chicken, Pork, Water, Corn Syrup, Salt, Contains Less Than 2% Of Flavor, Autolyzed Yeast, Sodium Erythorbate (Made From Sugar), Sodium Nitrite, Dextrose, Oleoresin Paprika, Sodium Phosphates, Sugar, Potassium ChlorideMechanically separated chicken? I guess that means then that most of the chicken I ate is manually separated? I don't really like the fact that some robot is chopping up my future Popeye's. Lo and behold, I was not deterred by the mechano-chicken or pork in the baloney. Instead, I decided to go with the nice and cheap Kroger imitation brand. As I dropped it in my cart, being the child I am, I giggled at the thought of purchasing phony baloney. I'm not sure why it's funny, but that's probably also why I feel that the greatest joke in the world is this:
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: NACHO CHEESE!!!!
AHHAHHAHAHAHAH....Ok, I'm spent....that joke RULES!
You moron, mechanically seperated chicken doesnt have anything to do with legs, breasts, wings and thighs. A mechanical chicken seperator is similar to a giant wood chipper. I guarantee that they aint throwin' no breasts and wings in the chipper. Bologna is made from the scraps left over after the chicken is butchered to remove the various limbs and breasts. You are enjoying the down home flavor of the other parts of the chicken, like the feet, neck and pecker (both varieties).
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:52 PM
According to Wikepedia:
Mechanically Separated Poultry (MSP) is a paste-like or batter-like poultry product produced by forcing bones, with attached edible tissue, through a sieve or similar device under high pressure to separate bone from the edible tissue. Mechanically separated poultry has been used in poultry products since the late 1960s. In 1995, controversy in the USA was addressed by a final rule on mechanically separated poultry that it is safe and can be used without restrictions. However, it must be labeled as "mechanically separated chicken or turkey" in the product's ingredients statement. The USDA's final rule became effective November 4, 1996.
Hot dogs can contain any amount of mechanically separated chicken or turkey. Mechanically separated chicken is also a prime ingredient in Slim Jims.
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:36 PM
Ah Victor, but if you remember the rest of the song its.. "Oscar Meyer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a."
So, you see, nobody actually spells it baloney. Speaking of Pluto, he isn't the drunk, thats Goofy. Probably the funniest cartoon I ever saw came on late one night on Disney channel. I'm flipping the channels, very drunk myself, and find a 15 minute cartoon about drunk driving starring Goofy. He swerves all over the place and runs into a tree. He gets out and has the crazy symbols swirling around his head. Being that it is made in the 50s or 60s, the narrator only gives it a 'haha, silly goofy, you should know better'.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:16 AM