Alas, as of the final out in the New York Mets victory on September 13, 2006, a tremendous and momentous streak has ended. The Atlanta Braves will not be the NL East champion in 2006. Sure, there's still a snowball's chance in hell that we could sneak into the playoffs as a wild card, but there will be chance to win the NL East. It's quite an amazing feat as the Braves have been winning since 1991. Sadly, I feel that this is partially my fault as I decided to stink up the city by moving here. But, that's neither here nor there. Fifteens of dominance is quite impressive, but let's see how much things have changed during this improbable run.

Atlanta Braves

Bobby Cox 91 v. Bobby Cox 06
Sigh. Well, it was quite a sad sight to watch good ol' Bobby get older game by game. I guess after so many roster changes, a domestic disturbance and ownership changes will do that to anybody. Irregardless, he's still a surly sonovabitch who can stare down down a wolf.

France

Frenchy v. ummmm...Frenchy now
Well, I don't know if the French have ncessarily changed much in these years. They used to be just the smelly guy who was lame, but still, he had some pretty good booze and grub. Now, they are just lameasses who not only forget how we saved their ass many times, but also that they suck balls. I really do miss the guy that just went "Sacre bleu!!!! Oh la la!", rolled shitty cigarettes, and did what we told them to do. Which was make more Babar cartoons and cheap wine.

President

Senior v. Junior
Without getting all political and saying who did better in Iraq, I will instead judge which Bush rocked out harder. Well, Senior is rocking out a nasty electric guitar that has the word "PREZ" on it. Pretty sweet. And his licks seem to be driving the ladies wild. Where as W, well, he's just kind of strumming an acoustic. While getting help from a roadie. Hands down, Pappy wins this as he is just dominating that cherry axe.

Teen Angst

Grunge v. Emo
Back in MY day, when you got all emotional and hormone-crazy, you put on some dirty jeans, rocked out a flannel shirt, didn't shave, and moped around. Now, these emo kids have this crazy hair, eyeliner and tight girlie pants while crying in the dark...alone. Well, to be honest, I guess both methods of teenage angst is pretty similar. The only difference is that we didn't look like a punch of pansies. We were at least kind of cool about being pissed off at the world. Not this androgynous he-she bullshit. Damn it kids, why don't you stop wearing tight t-shirts and jeans! Well, at least the male teens.

Bad Ass

Angus MacGyver v. Jack Bauer
Firstly, yes, trust me...his first name was revealed in the show as being Angus. Well...there's no question here. Sure, Jack can save the world from nuclear disaster, but who else would be able to solve a crime all with the contents of his pocket and maybe a paperclip. Also, you can't really argue with MacGyver's mullet.

17 year olds

Tiffani-Amber Thiessen v. Hulk Hogan's Kid
Drooooool.....Kelly Kapowski. I think I can say that many a boys of my age discovered themselves to said Kelly. Well, at least the straight ones. She was such a hottie, and...looks like someone you could take home to Momma. And classy, too. Now, Brooke, she's pretty hot. But look at that, just nothing left to the imagination. And illegal in many states. Not fair, I say. Oh, and not to mention her paps is Hulk Hogan and it's very disturbing when you picture her with a mustache. Winner? No doubt, it's Kelly.

Posted by Victor on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 at 6:26 PM | Permalink