Cher...one of the most famous one-named celebrities that we know. Along with Madonna, Bono, Prince, ummm....Pink....uhhh....and others, she's fairly well known for just her first name. Now, faithful reader, you may ask, what the fuck is your point? Fair question. One of life's greatest mysteries is how and why you dream the dreams that you do. Without going into any graphic and unnecessary detail, for some random reason, Cher was the object of my affection in a recent dream. Yeah, well, in my defense, I can almost guarantee that all of y'all have had dreams about worse guys/girls/animals in your past. So, cast ye not the firsteth stone beforeth you accusseth me of bad tasteth. I can't control my freakin' subconscious. So, I decided to do a little investigation about perhaps why such a random occurrence would be the subject of my dreams. Well, first off, let's go with the easy answer of "I've got a thing for white chicks with black hair." Meh, seems like a cop-out and a simple answer. Let's dig a bit deeper. Well, I do have my alarm set to on the Atlanta station Dave-FM, which plays "adult contemporary". Yeah, it's one of my more brilliant ideas in that I could be awaken by the soft, soothing tones of James Blunt and Hootie. So sue me, it's the only decent station I can pick up. Perhaps subconsciously, hearing the song "If I Could Turn Back Time", the dream kicked in. I'm sure y'all have had the radio/television influence a dream. If that's the case, maybe I should fall asleep watching Skinamax. Well, too much info. Anywho, possibly hearing the song on my radio-alarm could be the culprit. I decided then to watch the video on the youtube. Here is the video. Watch it before reading on, so as to not cast any aspersions against my good character.




Bingo. this song came out in 1987, the start of little Victor Kang's introduction to the female body and how kick ass it is. Also, this was the time that Papa Kang decided to spring for some cable. So, it's all very clear now. As I watched the video, memories returned about how the first time I saw this, I was all like, woah, you can see her ass cheeks. And her suit, well, it covered it a pretty new and awesome area that I had never thought about. Little Vic realized that men and women didn't have the same parts down there, and somehow, that little strip of cloth covered up something that I apparently should work towards achieving in the future. It was a sign, as Cher's...well...I wouldn't call it a shirt...her costume formed a V. V for Victory. V for Victor. V for vagina. And, to boot, that song is pretty fucking awesome. I doubt that at age 7, I was thinking "The way she straddles the cannons is relative to the act of sex." Still, I dare any prepubescent, non-cable or Internet accessible boy to not be amazed at said video. I know that nowadays, just stay up past 11 and watch Comedy Central, and you'll get Girls Gone Wild commercials up the wazoo. Or just watch MTV. But back in MY day, you couldn't get skimpily-clad women at your heart's desire. So, to solve my mystery, yeah, I had a dream about Cher, but it's justifiable. Watch the video again, if you ignore the fact that she's really not all THAT hot, it's pretty sexy for the 80's. Further, this video has every cliche found in a great video: back-t0-back singing, dancing with one lucky crowd member and walking through fog. And come on, she supports the troops! Go USA!

Posted by Victor on Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 7:47 AM | Permalink