As everybody knows, gas ain't cheap nowadays. For us folks that do that big city living, it's not very fun plunking down $45. Sadly, another malady that affects us big-city folks is the matter of going out and having a good time. With rising costs, I decided to try budgeting and forgo some pleasures for more "reasonable" costs. I was amazed that despite the rock-bottom price, there IS worse Scotch than 100 Pipers. Even getting a pitcher of The Champagne of Beers is about $7!!! And for lunch, a club sammich at an establishment like MacAllister's can run you ten bucks. But, what would you do with if you had an Andy Jackson burning in your wallet? Which would you rather have: 1/2 a tank of gas, throwing twenty GW's at a skanky stripper, or a hearty meal at Popeye's? I think I'd just buy 1/4 of gas and a smaller meal at Popeye's. As for the booby club, I think it's still too early in my life to be going solo to these joints. I don't think I've reached the stage of "dirty old man" yet. Just dirty. And if anything, that's what the internet's for. It's been a while, but I guess I might have to dust off my ole "Project Hobo" contingency plan: live in my car and with the $5-7 bucks I can get off begging, buy Wild Irish Rose for $1.25 to drown the sorrows and feast on some double cheeseburgers at McDs. It'd work.

But, the concept of food, sex or cars is of course not mine. It is from the classic SNL skit that featured contestants having to decide which of the three is the most desirable: the food, the sex, or the car. Just for shit and giggles, here are a few of the questions. Choose wisely.
1) circus peanut, Bea Arthur, or a Dodge Dart
2)a hero, the blonde sister from Heart, or a Firebird
5)garlic bread, Martha Stewart, or a US Postal van
6)a head of lettuce, Shirley Hemphill, or a '79 Pinto
7)a raw egg, Betty Ford, or the Beverly Hillbillies' truck
8)a can of beets, Estelle Getty, or a bobcat with a saddle on its back
9)a bucket of lard, She-Hulk, or the Hindenburg (Oh, the humanity!~)
10)potato skins, Connie Chung, or a Pontiac Bonneville

Posted by Victor on Wednesday, May 03, 2006 at 9:16 AM | Permalink