A common misconception is that Lawrence Tureaud, loveably known as Mr. T, needs work. This slanderous assumption was the result of an SNL cartoon that posited the notion that Mr. T would be willing to play Torvald in Henrik Ibsen's play "A Dolls House." How wrong that is. Of course, we are all familiar with his great, if not genius, body of work, ranging from many great cameos on Conan to supplying the voice of a certain "Mr. T in Your Pocket" to helping you save money on collect calls. But, this ain't your daddy's Mr. T anymore. He's given up his chains as he realized that it was a mockery of Katrina victims. If you have to ask why, the answer is "Shut up FOOL!"

In Mr. T's newest endeavor, he will be the host of a new television show called "I Pity the Fool". Whatever I say cannot touch how hilarious the original press release is, so here goes (emphasis added):

The TV Land network announced Tuesday that it will start "I Pity the Fool," a series where "The A-Team" star travels across the country dispensing inspiration and advice.

"The `T' stands for talking," he said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm going to talk it up. It's what I've been doing all my life. My show ain't no `Dr. Phil,' with people sitting around crying," he said. "You're a fool — that's what's wrong with you. You're a fool if you don't take my advice."

My sneaking suspicion is that the show will be very similar to whenever I talk to Tim when he USED to have a pocket T. Lot's of "Shut up fool"s and "Quit yo jibba-jabba". But, before you say "Man, that Mr. T is played out", he has moved into the digital age.

"California company NavTones has contracted with Mr. T and the actors Burt Reynolds and Dennis Hopper to record voices that can be loaded into navigation systems, giving your driving directions a little extra personality...Where the typical navigation system says "You have reached your destination," Mr.T's voice follows that with: "What is that? That's where you were going? Oh, man. You wasted my time!"

Doing his "Eric" pose

No Mr. T, but hey, it's Willie punching Burt. Can you really ask for much more?

Posted by Victor on Monday, May 08, 2006 at 11:30 AM | Permalink