BSC National Title Game
Well, seems that the geniuses that run D-I College Football feel that having a "National Title Game" is a great idea. Feh. Hopefully, this will be the last season in a while that 'Bama won't matter in terms of somehow mucking up the BCS. Anywho, good luck to both Ohio State and Florida b/c in the end, both will be sucking on some Crimson Tide dust. I don't get what I just said. The point is this: Alabama won't suck as bad as we used to anymore. But, as always, in big games, the winner will usually be the one with the coolest mascot. Observe:
Albert E. and Alberta Gator - First off, I give mad kudos the the University of Florida marketing geniuses. Al E. Gator!!! Brilliant!!! But, I do question the necessity to have a female counterpart. First off, we won't even get into the Mickey Mouse bullshit of Al running around with his gator dong showing. Now, granted, I wouldn't want to see a gator hoo-hoo dilly either, so Alberta's mini-skirt is appropriate. I still don't see why they need a male and a female gator. If we see an Al E. Gator, Jr., then the image of those two above humping...well...moving on. I won't even comment on the fact that they are associating with an over-sized, self-stimulating, obviously-drunk tooth with what appears to be a big turd on it's head. Huh? What do you mean your shits don't look blue?
Brutus the Buckeye - Alright, I know almost everybody south of the Mason-Dixon always asks "What the fuck is a buckeye?". To make a boring story short, a buckeye is a tree found in Ohio. Exciting. As for good ol' Brutus, he's just a big-ass nut. I really have nothing of substance to say about Brutus. He's got on pants, so this Nut's nuts won't be showing. Har-har. All in all, he looks like a fine, upstanding citizen. I mean, the worst I could come up with is that he's name is Brutus...the name of the guy who betrayed Caeser. Also, I always thought it Popeye was whooping up on Brutus, until I realized that Popeye was really saying "Bluto". Oh well. Lastly, fuck THE Ohio State University. I hate it when people say that.
Cutting short this pathetic attempt at humor, my prediction is this: White people boo Chris Leak and cheer when Tebow comes in. Troy Smith shows that he's not that Heisman-rific. Percy Harvin and Teddy Ginn run really fast. Final score: UF 31 - OSU 21.
Obvious mascot names are fine, see Jaxon de Ville. Brutus looks like a total douche. I mean seriously, what the hell. What is the slightest bit intimdating or entertaining about that? A gator is mean as shit. An angry indian throwing a flaming spear into the groud would make me pee my pants. A Tennessee coon hound is just plain awesome. Those are mascots. If only Alabama would start trotting an elephant out onto the field before SEC games like they do w/ the buffalo in colorado. That would be bad ass. Of course kickoff would typically be delayed while they picked up the giant pile of shit.
The first prediction I have made on this game to anyone.. and I still struggle...
Ohio State 20, Florida 13. Florida will play good defense, but they won't do shit on offense. If Reggie Nelson picks one off and takes it to the house, reverse score.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:45 PM
Or . . . Florida could make Ohio State look like the big 10 piece of shit they are. My pick florida 41 - osu 14.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:22 AM
well when you're right 58% of the time, you're wrong 42% of the time...
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:33 PM
Playoff, not Layoff!
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:24 AM